i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Everything about him screamed your future.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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