ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
