Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.