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you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
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