So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories