He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?