My nipple is on Facebook.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
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im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You were trust falling into bushes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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