If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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