I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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