Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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