That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize