Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
