doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
