wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
