it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize