all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
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