I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
