Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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