no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So many bounce houses so little time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
