Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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