A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize