umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
