so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
