Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
