This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
