We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
