And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
