I wannas sexs uuuuu
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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