and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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