Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
