so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
