Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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