as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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