Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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