I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
did i just pee glitter
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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