I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize