Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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