guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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