i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
