windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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