they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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