Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
