I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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