i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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