JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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