i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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