Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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