I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
