I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am available for nakedness
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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