Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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