I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
