Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
