Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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