apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
