so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
