Tell her she can't have a vagina
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
