I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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