nut hugger
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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