Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
