the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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