im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
