Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
